I have been obsessed with many things over the course of my life. Unfortunately, I have a personality that lends itself to the addiction of obsession whether it be about people, things, situations, or fears. This has taken different forms over the various seasons of my life but it has always been present.
As a child I struggled with obsessive behavior due to fear. I had plenty of different fears but the worst by far was of someone breaking into the house during the middle of the night. Rather than being able to think rationally about the situation I developed behaviors to help ease my nerves. Those behaviors led to routines and eventually I became a slave to those routines. Thankfully, later in life God gave me freedom from that but I would be lying if I said that I don’t think about it still on a daily basis.
Later in life I’ve found that my obsessive tendencies are found more in the pursuit of goals. I have a tendency to set fairly aggressive goals for myself in areas ranging from career to hobbies and I become fixated on them. I am constantly evaluating my strategy and I have a difficult time finding rest until I achieve whatever benchmark is in front of me. The only problem is that once I reach my destination, I am immediately plotting my next course.
The first step is awareness! And praise God that He has given me peace and freedom from this, particularly in recent times. I have a long way to go but Im so thankful for words like the ones I read in My Utmost from 6.2 entitled “Are You Obsessed By Something?”. Chambers writes:
“If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives – not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries. And now we understand why our Lord emphasized the sin of worrying. How can we dare to be so absolutely unbelieving when God totally surrounds us? To be obsessed by God is to have an effective barricade against all of the assaults of the enemy.”
My prayer is that I would be so fully obsessed by God that nothing else could distract me. Rather than being derailed by fear and anxiety I would love to be constantly and intimately aware of God’s presence in my life. Knowing and believing that God is exactly who He says He is leaves no room for doubt, insecurity, fear, or worry. The convicting reality is that God is the only thing worthy of our obsession.